Monday, May 23, 2005

Dispatch Box

The Councillor's Sunday was briefly interrupted by the arrival of a fellow councillor with the "dispatch box". This mountain of papers makes its way around the councillors for the information, education, and edification ensuring that they are all prepared for the next council meeting.
The Councillor hasn't ventured to said pile as yet, so has no idea of its import.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

The Chairman

The Councillor was phoned at the weekend to ask if he would stand as Chairman. The current Chairman was fulfilling the role under duress, and was unable to attend some of the external meetings. The Councillor expressed his thanks, but declined, feeling that his current work commitments would preclude him from doing a thorough job. He did, however, volunteer to try and coerce / cajole / bully a fellow councillor to accept the role.

The Councillor approached his colleague and won her over to the idea.

At the council mmeting The Councillor nominated said colleague, who was quickly accepted and took over there and then. The Parish's first female leader... then a debate started about what she should be called. All of the (spit!) Politically Correct (spit!) phrases were trotted out... Chair, Madam Chair, Chairwoman and so forth. Believe it or not, however, there has recently been a debate and ruling on this at national level. The correct form of address is, apparently, Madame Chairman. (And people wonder what goes on in the halls of government - you can rest peacefully in your beds knowing that there is national guidance on such matters).

Best of luck to our new Madame Chair. The Councillor thinks she will do a splendid job.

Neighbourhood Watch

This week The Councillor attended a full council meeting. This comprised:

  • A Planning meeting
  • A Finance & General Purpose Meeting
  • and the Parish Council Meeting

The parish meeting was of particular interest. The local coordinator for Neighbourhood Watch came to give the Council his review.
"Crime has been low. In The Enclave there has been but a single burglary, and several incidents of theft from vehicles in the last year. No crime has been reported at all in the last six months. Bayshore Drive has not been as lucky with several burgalries from houses, where doors had been left unsecured."

All of this he recited from memory, whilst delving through a pile of papers and and seraching through his box of bits.
"I'd typed all of this up in order to give to the Clerk"

But he couldn't find the report. The Councillor, soto voce, suggested that it might have been stolen. This caused a degree of mirth... but the chap just continued and bumbled his way through several further items culminating in the display of an illuminated house sign. This caused a degree of interest as houses in The Enclave do not have house numbers, only names - people often find it difficult to find a particular house.
"The sign comes on at dusk and switches off at dawn. Let me show you"

He proceeded to switch off the lights, and close the doors.
Nothing happened.
He then bent double and thrust the sign under the table.
"There, see." he said.

Moving along between each of the councillors he thrust the sign under the table... and they say cabaret is dead.