I guess it all started several years ago when your correspondant started to think about doing something for the community, and at the time considered volunteering as a magistrate. This had several attractions:
- I could hang people (e.g. violent offenders, Millwall supporters, BMW drivers... and similarly anti-social groups)
- I could imprison people (e.g. motorists who push in to a traffic queue, old people who block the aisles in Sainsbury, and people with polyphonic ringtones)
- I could send people to penal colonies (e.g. people from Essex, Chavs and so forth)
- I didn't have to wear a silly wig
However, it also had several disadvantages:
- A great deal of time would be needed to become qualified (and as I have a full-time job, this could prove difficult)
- There is a clerk of the court who is there to stop you doing the right thing, i.e. hanging, flogging, shipping to penal colonies, imprisoning etc.
Hey! what can I say, I would be firm but fair!!!
Having dismissed this idea, I wondered what else I could do. The Prime Minister's job was taken, and evidently I was under-qualified for that, being a) honest, b) logical, c) honest, and d) honest. Then a dear freind became a Parish Councillor and that gave me the trigger.
The Invisible White Rabbit dropped a letter through my door (and those of my neighbours.... I wasn't singled out!) explaining that a post had become available on our Parish Council, and asking for candidates. Galvanised by this, I ignored it for a week or two, then put myself forward. It became clear that several others had also volunteered so an interview process was convened. At the subsequent Council meeting I was co-opted... and so the story begins.